A Perfectly Imperfect Yogini

September 14, 2017

 

The truth is that I am far from a perfect yogini. 

 

This happens to be the second time that I have tried to write this post. When I last put down my pen (I hand write all my posts first) and picked up my paper to reflect upon the musings that I had scrawled a few days earlier I found that what I had written did not resonate with me at all. It seemed that my notes were more a reflection of what I must have been feeling on that day, presenting a situation where I was distinctly unhappy with my own lack of perfection. In reality, these days I am pretty content with this lack of perfection and know that I am truly doing the best that I can, within the circumstances and time that I have available to me at this stage in my life.

 

I am a yoga teacher, or more specifically, a yoga teacher who specialises in prenatal and postnatal yoga. I love what I am privileged enough to do as my “job”, to share these amazing and life changing journeys with so many beautiful women and their families while providing some knowledge, experience, guidance and support. But I am also, first and foremost, a mother, wife and woman with a diverse range of passions and interests other then what most of us understand to be the practice of yoga. You see, the longer that I continue in my practice of yoga the more that I realise it is not just the time that we specifically spend of the mat in asana, pranayama, meditation and the study of philosophy that counts.

 

The imperfection in my practice can be seen in my sluggish, grizzly morning routine which certainly doesn’t see me starting the day with pranayama or meditation. It can be seen in my overwhelm and irritation when family fuses are short and conversation is snappy and sometimes hurtful. But what I lack in not spending 45 mins a day mediating (it’s more like 10mins) I find in the experience of pratyahara when I become engrossed in the task of tending the garden. It is the experience of deep and genuine presence while floating on the ocean waiting for the next wave, or simply attentively reading a book with my daughter. It is the joy I feel when my children reflect back things myself and my husband have taught and modelled for them regarding the importance of caring for and respecting our planet and all that it provides.

 

Although my entire daily yoga practice sometimes equates to a total of 30mins of interrupted mat time (yes interrupted, that was not a typo), I know that the simple dedication to practice daily in some capacity means that all the goodness that comes from it seeps out into all aspects of my life and being. It is in the ease that I can forgive and my ability to save my judgment, the improved ability to pause before I react, and most importantly my ability find comfort and contentment within my own personal lack of perfection.

 

May we all find joy in our imperfection!

 

Esther

Prenatal and Postnatal Yoga Teacher

Classes in Murwillumbah, Cabarita Beach and Ipswich

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